Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction
by einsodair
Summary: :Drabbles: Harry Potter is known as the greatest hero to ever live. Apart from his lifelong role as the Chosen One, he also makes a living cockblocking all of Draco and Hermione's firsts.
1. Part I: First Flirtation

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part I: The First Flirtation**

טּ

Draco raked his long fingers against the spine of books. He'd been in the bookshop for far longer than necessary, but for some reason, he couldn't walk out right when he noticed she had arrived. There was an enormous sale going on at Flourish and Botts-half price on books and seventy-five percent off on quills. Although he was sure he'd only come for the quills, he couldn't help but wander towards the lovely Gryffindor Princess.

It wasn't as if he was purposely waiting his time out just to see her...

_Not at all._

The last time they had met was a party in the Ministry office. He was in the progress of repenting his past mistakes for following You-Know-Who. Surprisingly, _someone_ had recommended him for the position in the Ministry of Magic. Kingsley Shacklebolt refused to give Draco the name of that_ someone _upon request, but using his keen sense of logic, he had a sneaking suspicion.

Although, the drunken Hermione Granger proclaiming it to his face that same party did give him a slight hint.

He watched her looking at the massive amount of books, enthralled. She walked to the nearest shelf and curiously picked through title after title. When she came upon a book she'd already read, her face would lighten up in a knowing way. Draco chuckled, amused.

It was his time to move.

Holding up his wand, he whispered an incantation. Each book Hermione touched fell onto the ground. Gasping, she stooped down slightly embarrassed, and began picking up the books in a fast pace. Draco quickly shoved a kind pedestrian to the side who was about to help Hermione. "Oh no way, mate. I've been waiting for this chance for three years."

He knelt extremely close to her, purposefully, and began picking up books.

Noticing an extra help of hands, she laughed bashfully. "I'm so embarrassed. This has certainly never happened before," she said looking up. "Thank y-"

He smirked when he heard a sharp gasp.

"Mister Malfoy," she grinned. "What a surprise seeing you here."

"Please, Granger, I'm sure we can drop the formalities."

Draco stood up with her and took the pile of books from her arms. She looked up surprised. "When did you become such a gentleman, Malfoy?"

"Hmm, well I have turned over a new leaf if you must know."

"Oh really?" she giggled. "I don't quite know if I believe that."

Draco inwardly leaped with joy. The cat was in the bag._ And what a precious cat she was_. "Really? Well then, maybe a date will change your mind."

"Oh-ho!" Hermione shook her head, a big grin plastered on her face. "You think shamelessly flirting with me will get you a date?"

Draco smiled. He stepped closer. "I do hope so, Hermione."

Hermione's grin slowly fell off as she suddenly found herself caught in a mesmerizing hypnosis. His grey eyes were so strong and pulled her in like a turbulent whirlwind. The breath escaping from his lips smelled like peppermint chocolate frogs.

In that moment, Hermione was caught back into Professor Slughorn's class with the smell of peppermint and chocolate haunting her. It was knowledge to everyone that only the richest of the rich could have enough funds to purchase the candy as they were the rarest candy in the world. Hermione remembered feeling overwhelmed with confusion from her sudden attraction to the Malfoy heir. Though, at the time, many girls felt the same for the dashing bad boy so she dusted it off as a phase.

Her sight automatically caught his lips and she flushed red at his low chuckle. He lowered his face towards her, tentatively wondering if it was alright. She took a sharp intake of breath and moved only centimeters closer. That much was enough for Draco to dive in and-

"Hermione! Malfoy!"

Groaning, Draco stepped back and plastered a strained smile on his face. "Potter."

"Funny bumping into you here! Are you two busy?"

"Well," Draco raised his eyebrows. "We were in the middle of something-"

"Right well, hey," interrupted Harry. "Why don't we go get something to eat? 'Mione?" Harry offered his arm for Hermione to take. She laughed and accepted. "Coming, Malfoy?" he yelled back, leading Hermione out the door.

Draco rolled his eyes and followed, cursing under his breath, "Harry Potter."

And after all the trouble he'd gone to eat as many peppermint chocolate frogs possible until his breath was strongly scented.

* * *

A/N: So this is sort of a drabble series. I do hope you find it funny and interesting. It was fun for me to write since I got to go a bit egotistical in Draco's point-of-view.

Tell me what you thought via **Favorite**, **Alert**, and/or **Review**.

Check out my profile for a link to my Tumblr as well as other things.


	2. Part II: First Date

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part II: The First Date**

טּ

He walks beside her during their walk through Hogsmeade. It is uncomfortable with the many stares that plague his conscience. At first, he does not mind the whispered gossips or the pointy stares. It is when they start to insult Hermione that he finally takes the effort to turn and intimidate them with a deathly glare. He notices that throughout the occurence, she does not blink one lash towards them. Instead, she looks up, smiles at him, and loops her arm in his.

They go to their first destination, Honeydukes. Hermione goes to buy treats for her parents as well as close girl friends. She picks out the cutest looking candy for Lavender, hot, spicy licorice for Ginny, and the new pack of jellybeans for Luna. Draco is amused at her excitement when she comes across candy flavored bubbles.

Although hesitant, he makes an effort to brush her hand whenever he reaches to pick out treats for his own candy bag. Sometimes, he walks past her and brushes his entire being against her back, and apologizes like it was an accident. She can't help but flush at this gesture, and at times, returns with equal intention.

When they leave Honeydukes, they make their way to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. Draco feels more comfortable with the awkward glances heading their way. He figures if she can hold it out, so can he. While she organizes the candy in her tote bag, he notices a crowd of distracted Hogwarts students enclosing on them. He reaches out from instinct and pulls her into him. She gasps, surprised, and he can't stop the smirk making way on to his face. They are incredibly close but do not even try to move away. Their fingers brush against one another and he can feel a sense of electricity running through him. The journey to the tea shop seems to proceed faster than he would have liked.

It is crowded, although the weekend at Hogsmeade is always crowded, but he is surprised there are so many young folk present at such an early hour. They sit at a small table in a far corner. It is a beautiful scene outside the window, and as Hermione gazes outside with almost childlike amazement, Draco wonders how such a beautiful creature agreed to spend the day with the likes of him.

She notices his slight frown and smiles. "This has been a very extraordinary day, Draco." She watches as his head snaps up in realization and a sheepish grin growing on his face. Hermione prides herself on wiping his frown away.

"It's only just begun," he replies. There is a comfortable aura. While waiting for their tea and snacks, she tells stories about her mum and dad's first trip to the Wizarding World. Draco listens with his mind completely concentrated on Hermione. He chuckles at every other word and lets out a loud laugh occasionally. They are clearly attracting attention, but they do not care. To them, the world does not exist.

When they are in the middle of talking about Draco's childhood adventure in the library with Blaise, they are interrupted. Harry smoothly jumps over Draco and sits between him and Hermione. He jokingly calls himself "as stealthy as a cat." Although Hermione is laughing at his comedic charm, Draco is cursing under his breath. He wishes Saint Potter would look his way so maybe he'd get a hint.

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Hermione asks with a smile.

Harry shrugs. "I was supposed to be on a date with Ginny, but she had other things to tend to. So now, I'm here by myself."

Draco's whole body slacks. He knows what's going to happen next, and in this moment, he just wants to punch himself. He counts down to Hermione's obvious reply.

_3. 2. 1. FML._

"Oh no! Harry, you are welcome to spend the day with us if you'd like!"

Draco glares at Harry who is grinning like an idiot. He tries to get the message of their blatant date. He moves his foot to smash against Harry's, but the Boy-Who-Lived moves his foot just in time and Draco is left with throbbing toes.

"How kind of you, 'Mione. But I wouldn't want to intrude."

Draco proudly raises his head and says, cockily, "Good, since you know you ought to lea-"

"However, since you asked, I'd love to join!"

The rest of the day is spent with Harry dragging Hermione to different stores with Draco in tow, with no choice but to follow. The only thought that runs through his head is, "Harry fucking Potter."

* * *

**A/N: Present tense, yayyyy! **

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this piece.


	3. Part III: First Kiss

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part III: The First Kiss**

טּ

As a child, Muggle Studies was his definition of blasphemy. A prestigious pureblood wizard such as himself had no obligation to know what a _cellphone_ was or what a _toaster _could do. Why learn unnecessary things if you had magic?

Mistletoe was one of the things he found amusing till this very day. Maybe it was a method for poor saps who weren't blessed like him with his striking appearance or his charming pointed chin. For someone as perfect as he, a weed was anything but essential.

So he couldn't help but be shocked at the sight of the extravagant decorations littering Hogwarts, including a numberless amount of mistletoe.

"Bloody hell, Hogwarts's gone to the dogs," he muttered. He held Hermione's hand as they walked through the familiar walls of their old school. Neville Longbottom was recently appointed as the new Professor of Herbology and it was then somehow decided a party would be held to congradulate him. As a guest, Neville allowed Hermione to bring a date-hence Draco Malfoy's grand appearance.

Hermione sensed his discomfort. "You aren't nervous are you?"

"Nervous?" he scoffed. "Of what? Longbottom?"

"Well, you are going to be in a room packed with members of Dumbledore's Army."

Draco gawked. "You didn't tell me Potter's little cult was going to be here!"

"Of course not," said Hermione blandly. "If I had, you wouldn't have come." She recalled how difficult it had been to convince him to come for Neville's sake. Adding about 15 other Gryffindors, not including any other house, was sure to lock him in his flat.

"You conniving witch!" accused Draco.

She simply grinned at him and held his hand tighter. "I do appreciate you doing this for me though, Draco."

After walking for a few more minutes, the reached the room circled on the map Neville had sent Hermione. Knocking on the door, the host himself greeted them and held the door wide open. Peeking at the many familiar faces in the room-Looney Lovegood, Red, Dean Thomas, Finnigan, Hannah Abbott, the Patil twins, and more-he was more surprised to see Blaise resting on a seat next to Looney Lovegood, with a plate of sweets between them.

"Zabini?" He took a step inside. "What are you-"

"Whoa, now!" Dean piped up. "Look at where Hermione and Malfoy are under!"

They both looked up to see a mistletoe conveniently placed in between, and then at each other's flushed expression. Blaise gave a loud wolf whistle, initiating laughter and cheers for the couple.

"W-We don't have to if you don't want to," Draco stuttered.

"Oh!" gasped Hermione. "It's not that..."

"I-I mean I know we've just started **whatever **this is-and it's absolutely wonderful-but we haven't really spoken much about this, er, not that I don't want to because I really do! And I also want this to be official, and even though this wasn't the place I had in mind, I don't want to go any further until I've properly asked you if you would be...ugh! What the hell am I saying-and in front of all these people-"

Hermione gently held her finger against his lips to keep him from ranting any further. She giggled and said softly, "I would love to be your girlfriend, Draco Malfoy."

He couldn't believe it. She wanted to be with him! A member of the Golden Trio. Harry Potter's friend. The oh-so-great Hermione Granger.

His _girlfriend_.

Draco couldn't stop the wide, toothy grin smearing across his face. Just the mere association of the word and her made him feel giddy.

Ginny couldn't contain her excitement and screeched, "Oh for the love of-BE A MAN AND GET ON WITH IT!"

Draco didn't hesitate to lean down to Hermione. He held her hips firmly but not too hard, and shuddered when her fingers traveled up his arms and to his neck, lightly scratching his scalp. He could feel her sweet hot breath fanning against his lips.

"Oops!"

Hermione suddenly toppled over into Neville's surprised arms. Draco looked down to see Potter staring back at him in surprise. "Er, sorry, I tripped," he said sheepishly, pointing a finger behind him. Draco turned to see Ron nervously laughing.

"Sorry about that!" Ron pointed up. "Hey, aren't you two under the mistletoe?"

Draco looked up in disbelief, and for a brief moment, he wanted to cry. "Fuck Harry Potter."

"Now I don't believe you have to go _that far _for mistletoe," Blaise innocently added.

* * *

**A/N: Gah, I know. These drabbles are killing me. But maybe it's the step I need to get back in writing after my long hiatus? So please bear with me as I drag myself up the stairs again.**

Let me know what you think and if you predict Harry has a conniving plot to cockblock Draco and Hermione or he just has impeccable timing. Remember, he** is** the Chosen One after all.


	4. Part IV: First Fight

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part IV: The First Fight**

טּ

_1 Month Later_

"Hermione-"

Footsteps pound heavily against the hard floors.

"Hermione, don't do this-"

The front door angrily swings open.

"-_Please_!"

She slams the door behind her.

He doesn't hesitate to follow.

He runs after her, takes a hold of her forearm and spins her around into his arms. Gripping her tightly, but not too tight to scare her, he looks at her with pleading eyes.

"Please, just listen to me."

She glares at him angrily, flames dancing in her eyes. "Why should I?!"

"Because whatever they said doesn't matter."

She struggles and tries to put her defense lessons to use.

He knows what she is trying to do because he is the one who convinced her to take the lessons in the first place.

Somewhere in his body, multiple places, he is hurt. He is hurt that she is trying break free from him as if he were trying to hurt her.

She wants to go back. One month, one week, one day-back to where they had no troubles.

But he doesn't want to. He wants to fight through this. So they can be stronger.

And he tells her just that.

"Believe in me. I know my parents can be inconsiderate at times-"

"_Inconsiderate_?" she breathes out in disbelief. "No, inconsiderate would be your mother calling me a mudblood, Draco."

He sees the hurt in her heart reflecting from her tear welled eyes.

"Your father said I was "no better than scum" and that I'd taint his precious son. Your mother asked if I had you under a spell or if I influenced you to shag me till I was pregnant."

His grip tightens. He can feel his whole body stiffen at Narcissa's irresponsible accusation.

"I want to be with you, but I don't want to pretend like what they say doesn't hurt me."

He is afraid of what might be coming next and he can't bear the thought of it. Of her leaving him. He chants "please don't" repeatedly until it is a tongue twister.

"And Merlin forbid, we have children one day!" She looks sharply at his eyes. "What do you think they'll say if their own grandparents deny their very existence?!"

He stops her by enclosing his palms against the sides of her face. He presses their foreheads together, their noses bumping lightly.

He watches the tears roll down her eyes, and he promises himself to never be the reason ever again.

"You want to have my children?" He can't help but smile.

She breathes out a giggle. "After all I said that's the only thing you remember?"

He leans in closer and says softly, "Hermione, you don't know what you are to me."

He feels the confusing crease in her eyebrows.

Her eyes meet his, and immediately, he feels at peace.

"You are my beacon, Hermione Granger."

He kisses her forehead. "You're the best thing that's-"

"-Ever happened to him and although he's the biggest git in the world, he's absolutely mad for you."

They turn to see Harry standing with his hands in his jean pockets, leaning against the heels of his feet. He smiles.

"Bloody hell, Potter," Draco murmurs.

"What are you doing here?" asks Hermione, astonished at his sudden appearance.

Harry walks closer to the couple. "Just passing by."

"Bullshit." Draco glares and entwines his arms tightly around Hermione. "Can't you see we're busy?"

"Well, you were taking an awfully long time to confess your love for 'Mione, so I thought I'd just do you a favor."

Draco cocks a perfectly trimmed eyebrow. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be lecturing students in Durmstrang?"

"'Mione, mind if you make me some tea?"

"Oh, sure Harry." He smoothly intercepts Draco's hold on Hermione and leads her back to her loft.

Draco looks on furiously.

"Don't ignore me! Fucking Potter! Get back here!" he orders before quickly jogging after them. "AND LET GO OF HER!"

* * *

**A/N: Poor Draco. Even I was in the mood before Harry, you know, cockblocked everything. **

You all are awfully sweet to leave such nice feedback. I hope you like this drabble.

Please don't hesitate to leave some feedback: **reviews**, **alerts**, and**favorites** are very much appreciated! xx


	5. Part V: First Homemade Dinner

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part V: The First Homemade Meal**

טּ

_(Draco's POV)_

Ten more minutes.

The roast should be done in eight, table is already set, and her favorite wine is in the cooling bin. Check, check, and check.

Attire...

Alright good, I'm wearing pants.

...Or maybe I shouldn't?

No, no. Too fast.

Comfortable. Who are we trying to make comfortable, Draco? Hermione. Your girlfriend. That's who.

And as this is our very first homemade dinner together, everything must be perfection.

"Master Draco, where should Gerda put the pretty flowers for the pretty Mistress Hermione?"

"Oh, in the center of the dinner table-GERDA?! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?"

"M-Master Draco told Gerda to h-help make room pretty. Gerda wants to h-help Master..."

"Ugh, no, no, I'm sorry Gerda. You've done a wonderful job. But you must return to the mansion right this minute. Granger will kill me if she sees you here."

Alright. House-elf out. Roast on the dinner table and-door bell!

She's here.

Quick check.

Utensils-pillows-candles-dishes-carpet-oh fuck it.

Everything is perfect.

.

.

.

"Good evening, Draco."

Hot damn. She looks absolutely stunning!

Okay, Malfoy. Remember how to breathe, you dolt.

"Punctual as ever, Hermione."

Ugh, her laugh is like a siren calling out to me-what am I doing? I'm not writing poetry.

I'm going mad.

"Please come in, my lovely minx."

Smooth. Thumbs up.

"Oh, Draco! It's gorgeous! And the smell is absolutely ravishing."

No, that would be you.

"Only the best for my lady."

Now to put the Malfoy lineage into good use.

**Steps to being a gentleman:**

_1. Lead her gently to the dinner table, intimately, not too rough_-check.

_2. Pull out the chair for her_-check.

_3. Unfold the napkin for her and put it on her lap_-check.

_4. Serve her plate before your own_-check.

_5. Wait for her to take the first bite_-

"Mmmmm."

Oh Merlin.

"Ohh, Draco."

OhMerlinmotherdamnarseknicke rsinabloodytwistfirewhiskeyb utterscotch-

"This is marvelous. Did you really make this?"

"Er, yes...?"

"Really? Because I never would have piqued you for a culinary extrordinaire."

Brightest Witch of her age can't let anything go, can she?

"Well, there's a lot of things you don't know about me, Granger."

Good response.

"That's true. Well, now that we're...closer, we can spend the remainder of our time together getting to know each other more."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. And may I just say, you are the most beautiful gal in the world."

"Haha, that's sweet. You look pretty remarkable-"

Door bell?

"Huh? Draco, did you invite anyone else?"

Who the bloody hell-

"No, absolutely not. I wonder who it could be."

.

.

.

Please be a milk man, _please_ be a milk man.

Oh poo.

Is this what karma is? And father thought muggles were useless. They invented this curse that's worse than the Unforgivables.

"What are you doing here?"

"Malfoy! Hey! I hope you don't mind but I need to stay over the night. Ginny and I got in a tussle and she kicked me out of the house."

"Draco? Who is it? Harry? What a lovely surprise!"

How the hell does he-

"Why are you here?"

Oh don't look at me like you don't know what I'm asking.

"I just told you. Ginny kicked-"

"No, I mean why the bloody hell did you choose _my_ place to stay at?"

"Because I'd like to think we're close. And if I had asked any of the Weasley brothers, they'd quickly hex me."

I'm going to hex you right now if you don't leave-

"Have you eaten yet, Harry?"

What?!

"Granger!"

"Don't be so rude, Draco Malfoy! Now Harry, Draco just made this roast and it's to die for! We certainly have enough for you."

"That's awfully nice of you, mate. Thanks!"

"Wait, I didn't-"

Okay, fine, just let yourself in.

Not like I care.

Or matter.

Not like this isn't someone else's loft.

Who is-WAS on a date.

Because it's Harry fucking Potter.

The _chosen one_.

And quite frankly he's allowed to roam anywhere he pleases like the bloody Queen of England.

.

.

.

Maybe I ought to stop hitting my head against the door.

It's starting to hurt.

"Malfoy! Hermione was right. This roast is delicious! Give Gerda my thanks! She did a marvelous job."

Okay.

She probably didn't hear it...maybe she's in the bathroom or something...

"Gerda? _**Gerda **_was the one who made this?!"

...Maybe a few more minutes.

At least until I see blood.

* * *

**A/N: This is written in Draco's point-of-view. I actually like writing this way better. xD As you can tell, I didn't mention any actions but instead, tried to tell a story by his thoughts and words only. I hope it was easy to understand.**

This is honestly my favorite one so far. Let me know if you agree or not, and if not, which one is your favorite?

Please leave a **Favorite**,**Alert**, and/or **Review**. They make me happy. :D Thanks for reading!


	6. Part VI: First Dance

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part V: The First Dance**

טּ

_Peck, peck, peck._

With a gasp, Blaise jumps up and with half-lidded eyes wipes the drool from his cheek. He glances at the slob on his hand and sneers in disgust, cursing as he sees the pool of saliva resting on his pillow.

_Peck, peck._

"For Merlin's sake, it's the middle of the night," he says, his voice cracking from the lack of use.

Blaise yawns and scratches the itch from the back of his head. He rolls to the side of the bed and slips his pedicured feet into the Italian made slippers his mother sent him.

Clumsily walking towards the window, he opens the latch and reaches out for the message held by the brown owl. Ignoring his stretched out arm, it proceeds to drop the letter at his feet. Glaring at the bird, Blaise picks up the letter and lazily tears the seal off.

Sighing, he skims over the words, hardly paying any attention to what was sent. It is about the second word from the last before his brain finally catches up to him.

_Blaise,_

_Drak Acident St Peters Hospital Mug-le London aSAP!_

_Herm-_

He doesn't stop to change his shoes or his bed robes. He doesn't stop to lock his door or to send the owl away. He does, however, grab his wand and bumps his hip against a sharp corner of a bookshelf on his way out.

* * *

It takes a while for him to realize why so many people are staring at him. Maybe it's because they're all muggles? Or the fact that he's the best damn thing they've seen all day? And then it catches up to him almost as quick as he is to St. Peters.

He's forgotten to tie up his robes, so now his neon green undies are showing.

* * *

When Blaise finally arrives at the hospital, he is greeted with the heavy set figure of a very gruff looking man.

He takes a peek around the giant, considering the fact that the man is much much **much** taller.

He is the fourth one in line.

He contemplates whether he should ask for permission to cut in line or just wait.

The idea of just casting a quick spell is quite tempting.

But the giant man in front of him is just _that _intimidating.

Blaise decides to just stay patient.

Draco shouldn't be in that much pain...right?

...But what if he's paralyzed?

What if he got into a wizard's duel with Nott? _Bloody bastard cheats his way out of everything._

Oh no. What if he's on the verge of death?!

_Well what am I supposed to do? Ugh, but what if Drake's dying? He's admitted in this shabby muggle hospital, so it should be important if they didn't go to St. Mungo's. And Hermione didn't even spell half the words in her letter right. _

_This could very well be the only chance I send him off._

He glances at the giant once more.

_It doesn't look like he's hurt. And all I really need is just a room number..._

"Oh hell," he mutters with a new strike of confidence.

Tapping the man on the shoulder, he asks in his pretty-please-with-cherries-on-top charm, "Pardon me, but my best friend is in this hospital and-"

Blaise is unable to finish his sentence as the man brushes him off.

With a huff of disbelief, Blaise almost feels the need to send the man flying.

He taps the man on his shoulder again, puffing up his chest.

"Look here pal, I've got my best mate in one of those rooms, and I just need a room number. If I don't get there soon, he might die!"

The man nudges Blaise away and mutters in a low voice, "No can do, boy. I'm having my own emergency here."

Blaise rolls his eyes. "What emergency? You look completely fine to me!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN _'FINE'_? I'M **PREGNANT**, ASSHOLE!"

Blaise is not sure whether he should be astounded by the obvious bump gracing the belly, or the outrageously horrendous features of the mother-to-be.

"Bloody hell, you're a woman?!"

* * *

When he wakes up, he is lying on a gurney in a room with two other patients.

He winces as he attempts to open his left eye, but it seems the wider he tries, the more it hurts.

"You shouldn't force yourself, lad. Your eye is bruised, it'll only hurt more."

He glances to his side with his one good eye and sees one of the patients staring at him. She is an elderly woman, gray hair nestled on her head, a skinny wrinkled face that goes down like an upside down triangle, and sharp eyes holding a cloud of what seems to be lust.

Her expression is nerve-wracking to look at.

"What happened to me?" he asks, slightly regretting the decision to even speak to her.

"Like I'd know, the nurse just brought you in and left. You know, in my day, nurses never did take good care of us like they do today. No, they carry you like a good ol' sack of potatoes. Not all that genital check nonsense."

Blaise has trouble believing what he's heard. "G-Genital check? What genital check?"

The old lady looks at him as if he's stupid. "Genital check! Don't tell me you don't know what that is."

He raises his eyebrow and is honestly concerned at what this 'genital check' is. "What, is it like a disease or something?"

Chuckling in her raspy voice, she says, "No! It's like this."

The next thing he knows, she is grabbing at his neon green panties like a miner in the California Gold Rush.

"Holy-fuck!" he yells. He stares at her for a moment and sees if she herself realizes where she's touched. After a minute of unruly silence, he is sure she is a lunatic old bird. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Oh don't be so whiny, you big baby," she taunts. She moves her hand closer. "You've got to get these things checked daily, else you'll come up with some horrid disease and you don't want that now do ya, boy?"

"Looney, you're all a bunch of crackheads!" Blaise quickly jumps out of the gurney, and rubs his palms against his robes. "I've got to get out of here-where's my wand?!"

The old lady wiggles her eyebrows. "Ohhh, using naughty terms are we boy? I may look old but my body's still young!"

Blaise doesn't hesitate to run out the room as fast as possible.

He makes a mental reminder to ask Granger to Accio it back later.

* * *

It takes him a couple minutes and a few nurses before he finally reaches Draco's hospital room.

He can hear Granger scolding him from the outside. Without a thought, he bursts into the room.

Granger is hovering over Draco, a look of shock spread across her face. Draco is also looking back at Blaise. One of his feet is resting on a pillow at the end of the bed.

With a sigh of relief, Blaise wobbles over to the couple. "You're not dead," is the only thing he can think right now.

"What happened to your face?" Draco asks.

Shaking his head, Blaise responds, "Never mind that, what happened to you? Did you get in a fight with Nott? Did you get cursed?"

Granger rolls her eyes. "Please, like it's that serious-

"Hey, it's pretty serious!" interrupts Draco.

"-he just broke a toe," continues Granger.

Blaise tries to re-cooperate from the lack of seriousness.

"...Broke a toe?"

Granger nods. "We've never gone dancing together before, so we decided to go to a dance club in London. Surprisingly enough, Harry and Ginny were there too."

"I told you, Potter's trying to-"

"Hush!" she scolds at Draco's interruption.

"Anyway, Harry wanted to dance with Draco for fun and he accidentally stepped on his foot."

...

"Please tell me Potter at least wore spiked boots," pleads Blaise.

"He was wearing flip-flops."

Blaise wants to slap someone.

"...And why, pray tell, are you in a muggle hospital for_ that_?"

"Because he made such a fuss at the club, they thought he'd gotten shot."

"...Then the letter...?"

Granger brightens up. "Oh, yes, I apologize if it was hard to read. Draco kept grabbing at me so it was hard to properly write in the ambulance."

Zabini glares at him for a few seconds. "Do you have any idea what I've been through to get here?!"

Draco scoffs. "It couldn't have been worse than dancing with Potter, I bet."

Blaise decides that he is tired of his shit.

* * *

For the next few weeks, Draco must return daily to the hospital to check and see if his toe is healing properly, as well as his bruised face.

Blaise must also return to have daily check-ups on his broken hand.

Hermione bans the use of healing magic for either of them until the nurses stop glaring every time they walk into the hospital.

* * *

**A/N: Ugh, I'm reading this and I absolutely despise it. D; Anyway, I decided to use a more Blaise-centered for this chapter. It was honestly supposed to be a different plot line but I thought it was too soon in Draco and Hermione's relationship to write it. So you'll get to see it probably in the next two chapters. Harry doesn't really directly cockblock in this one, although it is mentioned. So for that, I apologize and I tried to make it a little more comedic. I think it's definitely easier to write with Blaise since he's such a flexible character.**

I wanted to get a new chapter in since I've practically failed as a writer for the followers of this story. x.x So I apologize once more. College has been such a life ruiner for me. I don't even know if I am considered human anymore. More like a walking zombie. But I'll try to write and upload more!

Tell me what you think of this, Review, Favorite, and Alert!

xoxo


	7. Part VII: First Confession

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part VII: The First Confession**

**טּ**

_"Mr. Zabini, Mr. Potter is on line 1."_

_"Tell him I'm working and I'll call him back later."_

_"Mr. Zabini, Mr. Potter refuses to hang up unless you answer."_

_"Ugh, fine, ask him what he wants. I've got to finish this outline by the end of the day."_

_"Mr. Zabini, Mr. Potter is asking for the time of the appointment for the Auror meeting on Tuesday."_**  
**

_"Tell him I'll get to it later. Thank you, Pearl."_

_"Mr. Zabini, Mr. Potter also asked me to tell you he needs the memo as soon as possible."_

_"Yes, Pearl, thank you."_

_"Mr. Zabini, Mr. Potter also wants to make sure you know his Owl is waiting at the window."_

_"Tch, the nerves of that man. Alright, alright. I'll do it right now."_

_"Mr. Zabini-"_

_"Good Salazar, Pearl! If it's another message from Potter-"_

_"Actually Mr. Zabini, it's Ms. Hermione Granger. She's here to see you."_

"I'm sorry if I've interrupted you. You seem busy."

He chuckles, pouring a cup of coffee for his guest. "Oh, I've been working since the early hours. Wouldn't hurt to take a break."

"Now what can I help you with?" He places the cups in the middle of the table as he sits across from her.

"Blaise, can I ask you a question?"

He turns to look at her, amused.

"'Brightest Witch of Her Age' wants to ask little ol' me a question? Why, I'm flattered, princess!"

She smiles and dismisses his joke. "I'm being serious, Blaise."

"I am too. It's not every day I get asked questions by you."

He fidgets with the coaster he received from Ginny Weasley-Potter last Christmas. "Now what's on your mind, sweetheart?"

She is quiet for a few moments, collecting her thoughts.

She is not sure how she should approach this matter.

"Do you think Draco loves me?"

Blaise raises a brow. "Do you love him?"

"I asked first."

"Hermione, I've been raised as a gentleman. Ladies first."

She blushes.

"Yes," she responds quietly. "Yes, I do love him."

Blaise can't help the smile crossing his face.

He stares at her and waits for her to look back at him.

Once he is sure she is watching, he does not blink or look away.

He only says in a firm voice, "Draco is in love with you."

Her rosy cheeks blossom to a red. It is only a few seconds until her expression falters.

"But why hasn't he told me?"

He shakes his head. "I'm sure he just doesn't know how to say it." He smiles and reaches to give her a comforting hug.

"Don't worry, Hermione. If I know my best mate, I know he's just waiting for the right opportunity to tell you."

* * *

"You're an idiot."

Draco sputters at the insult. "Wha-Blaise-"

"You dolt."

"Now hold on-" Draco is interrupted before he can finish his defense.

"You bloody wanker."

"BLAISE!"

He breathes out, a rush of adrenaline flooding his veins from his outburst. His friend is silent and just stares at him, waiting for his reply. Draco takes a deep breath. "Now, why exactly are you verbally abusing me?"

Blaise wonders if Draco has reached the capacity for how idiotic one is allowed to be before the effect is irreversible.

He can't believe he is becoming this frustrated for a girl, a friend, a sister even.

_And it's not even my relationship!_

"You haven't told her."

His friend is still looking at him speechless, and utterly confused.

He sighs.

Draco still doesn't get the point.

"You haven't told her you love her, you fool."

Draco gapes at him. "I thought she knew!"

"She's a _girl_, mate, she's not going to know for sure unless you tell her."

"Well, how am I supposed to know that? I'm not a girl!" Draco lets out a frustrated sigh.

Blaise groans, "Oh, great Salazar, Drake!"

"Come on, Blaise, you've got to help me out here."

"Why do I have to do that? I'm not in this relationship! Merlin, I've done enough just by telling you all this."

"I'll set you up with Lovegood."

"Wha-Looney Lovegood? You think I'm that desperate?"

"...I'll get you locker passes to the National Women's Quidditch Team Competition."

* * *

Nervousness is an understatement.

He is more so terrified than anything else.

"Are you sure this'll work?"

"Trust me, I am the expert for a reason." Blaise taps the parchment. "Now Owl that baby and let's go get us some drinks to celebrate!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm borrowing your owl, mate." Draco walks to the window and sees a rolled up parchment placed in front of the window. "Hey Blaise, do you want me to send this too?"

Blaise is struggling to find his coat. He knows he placed it somewhere... "Oh yeah, it's probably Potter's-damn, where's that coat?-he's been egging me since this morning." He suddenly has a realization. "You know what, I bet Pearl took it."

Draco scoffs. "Sounds like him. Annoying as ever."

He opens the window and is surprised to see two owls perched on the window sill. He turns around to inquire but he only catches the heel of Blaise walking out of his office.

"Pearl? Where's my coat?"

Draco shrugs and loops his parchment onto a scruffy brown owl. He takes the other parchment and ties it on the other, cleaner owl.

* * *

_One Day Later_

"Draco, is there something you need to tell me?"

Draco looks up and sees Hermione standing in front of him, looking quite aloof, holding up an unrolled parchment.

He sees the love letter he wrote a day ago and flushes in embarrassment.

"And all this while I was wondering why you haven't said "I love you" after a year of dating-"

"Well, you see, I thought you knew-"

"-And now I find out it's because-"

"-I mean, I never thought I'd have to-"

"-You're in love with Harry."

"-Say it out loud-wait, what?!"

* * *

**A/N: In case you are confused, when Draco sent out the two letters and tried to help Blaise out with work, he mixes up the letters with the owls. So the business memo Blaise was supposed to send to Harry got sent to Hermione and the love letter Draco wrote got sent to Harry. So even though Harry wasn't physically there, he indirectly cockblocked Draco and Hermione. Oh, the irony.**

**Blaise has taken a major role in the story now, and although I didn't mean for him to become a main character, I couldn't help myself. Tell me which lovely lass Blaise should end up with!**

**An important note, I've made a timeline until the last chapter and now, I'm looking at 12 more chapters until the ending. There's going to be a three part chapter in the middle. Look forward to it! :)**

I love this one! I think it makes up for the last chapter very well.

Tell me what you thought of this chapter and if it was your favorite so far. Review, Favorite, Alert!

Thanks for reading!

xoxo


	8. Part VIII: First Sleepover

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part VIII: The First Sleepover**

**טּ**

Man, I really want to ask her.

Should I ask her now?

Oh hell, why not?

"Hey, Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

Wait. We're watching a movie. She's trying to enjoy herself.

What if this ruins our night?

"..."

"What is it, Draco?"

No, no, let's just wait until this scene ends.

"Uh, never mind."

...

Ugh, I'm so fucking nervous.

Will she think I'm trying to just shag her?

No, no, she already knows that I love her.

But what if she's having doubts again...?

"Hey, Hermione?"

"M'hmm?"

"I love you."

Giggle. "You're sweet. I love you, too."

...

What if she just isn't ready?

What if she thinks we're moving too fast?

Should I just say it?

"Hey, Hermione?"

"Yeah?"

Oh, kissing scene.

"Uh, nothing."

Maybe it would be better to not mention it after all.

But it's a Friday night.

What could she possibly have planned?

And it's not like we haven't talked about..._that_.

Ugh, for the love of-_sex_, Draco.

You mean_ sex_.

Bloody hell, you can't even say that word.

...

I wonder if she can say that word.

"Hey, Hermione?"

"What, Draco?"

Wait, what are you doing?

You are not about to ask her if she can say sex.

Oh Merlin, what are you, a fourteen old hormonal, pathetic pre-teen?

"Never mind."

Ugh, what am I doing?

At this rate, she'll just go home and I'll be left here in my lonely bed.

And no one wins from that.

You know what?

I'm a Malfoy. A motherfucking Malfoy.

I'm the pants in this relationship.

I can do this.

You can do this.

"Hey, Hermione?"

"**_What_**, Draco?"

Oh, wow, she sounds mad.

"Nothing, dear."

...

Maybe she feels better.

I mean, we just passed her favorite scene.

Oh well, never know until you try.

"Hey, Hermione?"

"..."

"Hermione?"

"..." Sigh. "Yes, Malfoy?"

Oh no, she sighed!

And it wasn't the blissful sigh either.

It was the, "I want to kill you if you say another word" sigh!

What if this means she hates me?

What if-

"Mother of Merlin, Draco Malfoy, you have started to say something throughout this whole movie and then you always take it back! Either you say it right now or just keep your mouth shut until this movie ends! But if it's that important then I suggest you just say it right now since it is very unlikely I'll actually stick around that long by the way you've been acting!"

"Willyousleepoverwithme?"

"..."

"..."

"What?"

Cough. "Uh, w-will you...sleep over?"

Silence.

Burst of laughter on her part.

"_That's_ what you wanted to ask me?"

Nervous chuckle on mine.

"Yeah...?"

"Oh, Draco, that's so sweet of you!"

Oh wow, why didn't I just ask earlier? I feel so relieved now.

"Great! Well then, I guess that's it."

"Oh, but, actually, I already made plans with Harry..."

...

"Wait, what?"

"Harry asked me to sleep over at his house with Ron."

"...You're going to sleep over with two males? Two males that aren't your boyfriend?"

"Don't take it the wrong way, it's been a tradition for us. We've been doing this ever since the war ended with Voldemort."

"So...Harry...and Ron."

"We're only best friends."

"No, no, I know."

"..."

"..."

"It was Harry's idea."

"Yeah, I figured."

* * *

**A/N: Haha, this one was shorter and there wasn't much to talk about. Draco's asking for Hermione to spend the night with him but, well, Harry's beaten him once again.**

I'm trying to lead into something by doing this to spread the time apart a little, so this seems a little like a filler. But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

Review, Favorite, Alert!


	9. Part VIIII: First Interview

**Harry Potter and the Cockblock Instinction**

**Part VIIII: The First Interview**

טּ

_Tap, tap, tap._

Twitch.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap._

Twitch.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Flinch.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Glare.

She stopped and tightened her blood red lips together in a forced smile...could that even be called a smile?

Rita Skeeter leaned back into her too-small-for-her-butt chair, narrowing her eyes at her guests.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat, no doubt completely aware of the leering stare the reporter was giving her.

A hand planted itself onto her own and she found her way to warm light-coloured eyes that spoke love and adoration upon her. Her heavy chest felt lighter the second physical contact was made, and just the way he looked at her gave her a strong sense of protection.

Skeeter sneered at the couple's undying affections for one another. She coughed to regain their attention. "Let's get back to business now. Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger, exactly how long have you been dating?"

"A year and a half-"

"Right, and in this time, have you ever considered that maybe you're not right for one another? I mean, we're talking a deatheater and a...muggle-born in a pathetic excuse of a relationship. Has anyone right out told you that they disapprove?"

Draco coughed. He tried to avoid the obvious tension Skeeter was putting between them. "Of course at the beginning both our parents were not very tolerant with us being together, considering our past, but since then-"

"Well has anyone else maybe noted their disapproval? Like, let's say...the best friend of Hermione Granger and former enemy of Draco Malfoy?"

Hermione gave a calculating stare at Skeeter. "If you mean to say Harry, then no, he has completely supported our relationship."

"From the very beginning?" Skeeter challenged.

Hermione faltered. "W-well, no, not from the very beginning but-"

"Aha!" the journalist cheered. "So he is against deatheaters! He thinks they are beneath him and he still holds a grudge against Voldemort. Interesting." The quill continued to scratch against the parchment at a breathtaking speed.

"No! You're twisting my words!" rebutted Hermione, frustrated.

Skeeter only snapped her fingers to increase the speed of the quill.

Draco glared at the older woman. "Excuse me, but can we get back to the topic at hand? This is why you're interviewing us, is it not?"

"I don't think you quite understand how I work, Mr. Malfoy. Indeed the topic is about your relationship, but the fact is, readers don't care how in love you two claim to be-now, what _I_ want to know is why Harry Potter would be completely fine with his best friend being together with a former follower of Voldemort? Does he have some sort of plan to rebel all of the former deatheaters? Is Harry plotting a rebellion? Does he still hold a grudge? What does he think about Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini working in the Ministry then?"

Hermione let out a furious scowl and threw her head down into her palms.

**x-x-x**

_Draco couldn't help it._

_He was pouting._

_And sulking._

_He was pulking._

_"...T-This article was supposed to be about my relationship with Hermione being the turning point in the Wizarding World, but instead, it's five pages about Harry Potter that turn out to be out-of-context and absolute bullshit!"_

_Oh, why is he hitting himself against the table?_

_"B-Blaise~!"_

_Bloody hell, was he always this...sensitive?!_

_He sighed and patted his friend on the back._

_"I know, I know."_

* * *

**A/N: Harry cockblocks indirectly. Now there's something to be proud about.**

I'd also like to apologize for the "pulking" part. I couldn't help it.

I warn you that the next part (like an official part) will be separated into three different chapters. So Harry's cockblock probably won't be until the third part.

Review, Favorite, Alert!


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